Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
two words: eviction party
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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