idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
