butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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