please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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