Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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