We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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