i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
where does the pee come out of this thing
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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