i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
