i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
