Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
