Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
