You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
