So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
