Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
