Sponge bath it is.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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