I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
