Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
