We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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