She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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