Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
