life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
