More tranny stories later!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it glows. i had to have it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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