careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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