So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
