he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
