Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
