she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
