i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
