where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
People in love make me want to vomit
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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