I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
