3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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