It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
