I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
