Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
