Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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