eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize