I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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