I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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