You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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