Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
