I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
