New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
