True but thats because hes a fetus.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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