Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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