You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
