Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
