seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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