Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
