Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize