If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
