Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
