i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
